I <3 that Panda Express guy.

I <3 his hat. I heart his beady eyes. I <3 his skeletal grin.

New comic: Spaceship Panda Express. It will just be about that guy flying around space in a tiny Panda Express food court stall. He will bring greasy Asian food to furthest corners of the Galaxy. He will end wars with his persistent offers of free samples.

BUT, and here is the twist, there are no toothpicks in outer space! How can he serve his samples hygienically? On Ragnos VII, in the light of a dying blue dwarf star, he will start an epidemic among an ancient race of sapient bananas. The epidemic will spread. Interplanetary law will declare him the greatest threat to universal stability in recorded history.

He will become a renegade, smuggling dirty eggrolls into high class parties where polypus playboys cavort with tentacled trollops. He will love a woman who only exists as dark matter. They will finally die together in a shootout with Galactic Police around the rings of Saturn.

The last thing he will ever see will be a shattered fragment of old Earth floating past him on its way to nowhere, and on that broken piece of land… a bamboo forest.

Via con dios, Panda Express guy.